Age and Delayed Gratification

One of the measures of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. When a small child wants something, he or she typically wants it immediately. Denial can lead to tantrums, sulking and similar behaviour that we label childish. As we mature into adults we learn to accept delay while never losing sight of our objectives. Adults plan.

As the amateur radio population ages, I've seen how delayed gratification can work against us. Children have their whole lives ahead of them so they can afford to wait for what they desire. Yet they often won't. On the other side of life, when we're old, waiting can too easily result in permanently lost opportunities; delayed gratification, which once served us well, becomes a curse.

Pink Floyd said it well in their song "Time":

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

If you're an older ham, are you putting off replacing that old rig with a far better new one? How about that Windows 7 computer, or with an even older operating system? When that ancient yagi is missing elements, hardware is rusting and the coax became water contaminated years ago, do you hesitate to replace it?

Why?

I see this a lot since I do tower work for others and visit many of their shacks. Whether they are hams I've known for decades or they are recent acquaintances, they have a ready excuse. Here are a few of them:

• "Well, it's kind of okay. I jump into the pile ups and I get through eventually with the amp."
• "You get used to all that noise (or distortion or ringing). It doesn't bother me much any more."
• "I don't want to bother anybody to climb the tower (or up to the roof)."
• "I don't keep up with all the new technology and products so I never know what to buy." 
• "It seems like a lot of money. Can it really worth it? I'll think about it some more."
• "Yeah, there's lots of DX on the digital modes, but I'm too old to learn that computer stuff."
  
• "Why bother? I could drop dead tomorrow."

I bet that many of you could easily extend the list. I've heard so many spurious justifications for delay. I've used a few of them myself!

There is a modern saying that provides the antidote: YOLO -- you only live once.

No matter how much time you have left, why deprive yourself? Except in rare situations, none of us can know how long we have, whether you're 20 or 80. There is no advantage is deciding that it's all over and engage in acts of self-deprivation. There is always something new to learn or experience. Don't forgo the many available opportunities.

Indeed, I argue that the older you are the more you must pursue your dreams. Make a ham radio bucket list and get started. Do it today. The young have time to delay gratification. The old no longer have that luxury. The urgency should be escalated.

Dispose of the ancient and dusty stuff now -- don't saddle your heirs with it. Buy new and better equipment. There really is a difference!. As much as we complain about prices and complexity, the quality and performance of electronics and antennas is superior to what fills so many shacks. Nostalgia is nice but it doesn't do much for us on the air when we dive into the pile ups. The shack will be tidier, the operating more enjoyable, and the new equipment will fetch a good price for the estate when the time comes.

Yet there are obstacles. Just make sure they are approached as obstacles and not as excuses. 

• Money: You likely have the money, or at least enough to outfit the shack with new equipment. Perhaps you believe that you are spending the inheritance you plan will leave, or that you've developed a habit of thriftiness, and so you won't spend what you can. Reconsider. A few thousand dollars is minuscule in comparison to the large assets you will bequest, real estate in particular, and the resale value can be very good.
  
• Labour: When it comes to tower and antenna work, there are options if you are no longer able to do it on your own. Almost every club has members who will do at least small tower jobs for others -- hams helping hams. At worst, hire a rigger with experience working for hams. The expense is modest.
  
• Learning: Old dogs can learn new tricks, if you persuade them to get them off the couch. We tend to relax and let life wash over us as we age even though we are perfectly capable of mentally and physically exerting ourselves. You can learn to use a PC, digital modes, novel features of modern equipment and sophisticated test equipment, and so much more. All you have to do is, well, do it.
  
• Overreach: Indulge, yes, but don't go so far that you create a burden for yourself and others. It would be difficult to overdo by upgrading the shack, but so easy once you plant towers. You don't need to build a big station like mine to have a lot of fun and operating success. Don't alarm your family and neighbours by putting up multiple 100'+ towers and large yagis. One reasonably high tower, a multi-band yagi and low-band wires can do wonders. It will not be expensive to dismantle when the time comes. My towers will almost certainly be cut down to save the expense. My large property makes this possible.
  
• Cost-benefit analysis: A common objection to investing further in the hobby is that there may be little time to enjoy the investment. How can you know? We can die tomorrow or not for many years. The assumption of impending demise (fatalism) is merely an excuse to deny ourselves. If it's only a year, well, who cares? You won't be around to do the final sums, but you will have had a year of enjoyment. Fatalistic estimates should not unreasonably constrain your choices.
  
• Burden on survivors: I have a friend who incrementally downsized his antenna systems as he aged. When he was longer confident doing tower work he took down his tower. When he could no longer climb onto the roof, he resorted to ground mounted antennas. He went QRT when that became a maintenance difficulty. He was more comfortable doing it that way even though I offered to take down his tower when the time came. I wanted him to enjoy the hobby for as long as possible. Make a plan and you can eliminate the worry of leaving behind a burden for your survivors.
  

Have I motivated you to act? Sadly, probably not. That's been my experience from the many conversations I've had with elderly hams of my acquaintance. It can seem a major undertaking at a time of life when we increasingly spend our time looking to the past rather than ahead.

I think that's a shame. You can all too easily rationalize delaying gratification beyond the point of no return. Try this: replace that old equipment with a modern digital transceiver. It isn't all that much money. There's nothing easier you can do to appreciate the value of looking towards the future with optimism. Don't deny yourself.